Will Blog for Milkshakes?

Photo from Baggermania

Did you know some folks hate the word Mommy Blogging? I’ve read that several times. They are moms and they blog, and they certainly write about their kids/family life/parenting…but NO! DO NOT CALL them mommy bloggers. I pretty much stay away from labels. I especially hate, HATE- GAP. Refuse to buy crap from Gap especially when it has the brand plastered across the boobs of the shirt. Srsly.

Anyway.
The label momblog, mommy blogging, moblo,
MOM WHO BLOGS IT ALL DAY LONG?
I dunno. Doesn’t bother me.

Seems almost empowering?

Am I crazy?

What do you think?

Mommy Bloggers Unite?

We ROOOOCKKK!

And for a second rambling topic…

Did you know there is a whole topic in StumbleUpon labeled Mormon? Now you do.

Other possible religion-related in the list?:

Catholic, Christian, Christian Music, Lesbian Culture, Paganism, Protestant, Religion, Scientology and Wicca?

Did I miss anything?

Unless you count Homeschooling or Yoga? And some MOMMY BLOGGERS… do. They soooo do.

I was just surprised. There wasn’t Baptist, or Lutheran, or Presbyterian, or Episcopalian? Catholic and Mormon and Scientology? The only named religions as topics? Well…there’s Wicca, and I don’t mean to discriminate…but I have yet to meet a practicing …um? Wicca-ite? If you do.. please let me know! I can check that off my list.

‘Met a practicing Wicca-ite, made friends’, Check.

Are You….

A Glass Half Full…

Photo by Marshall13

Or Half Empty?

photo by Duke LeNoir

Sometimes I’m just the glass half shattered.

I swear I don’t see being a half empty type as a bad thing? It’s more like I follow the mantra, idea, philosophy–“If I worry about it–it cannot happen.” Or maybe it’s the boyscout in me? Be Prepared…if I plan for the worst it won’t happen, right?

My Utah house is giving me stress right now. Will it sell? Can we find renters? If so–will they work out? Will they trash the place? Should we allow pets? If we can’t get renters, like, how many months before we get foreclosed on and go bankrupt?? Will they throw us in debtors prison and only feed us rancid bread and weevil water? Will we look like the awful couple from Les Miserables singing about pickpocketing from dead people? (Most of them are goners so they won’t miss much!)

See? I’m just making plans. Isn’t that okay?
Someone please fill my glass already.

4th of July….Our style…

Happy 4th-ing to you! Go out and light it up for us (Cuz no fireworks are allowed in our neck of the foothills).

Potato Salad vs. Macaroni Salad for the picnic? Help me, please. As a former Idaho gal, potatoes rule of course. But the kids prefer plain ole pasta…. oh well.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Picture Prose

And a Question….

TK honestly wanted to leave the house like this. And he wanted his picture taken.

Nearly Sunset.

TK looked up from his computer game and says to his dad. “Why do you have that Wal-Mart shirt on Dad?”. We still have no idea what he was talking about?

And to prove my couchness.

Here’s the question:
Costco’s Kirkland Brand Frozen Lasagna?
OR
Stouffer’s?

It’s late, I promise I’ll explain in the morning.
My choice? Breakfast Burritoes.

Here’s the explanation: Some fabulous and loving friends took great care of us during my couch recovery! (Thanks for caring). We knew a dinner was on it’s way for Saturday night and to prepare for Sunday’s food intake the Hero Hubster picked up a frozen lasagna (Stouffer’s). And sure enough that generous Saturday night dinner? A frozen lasagna from Costco! We happily devoured it. But then on Sunday (remember this would be Father’s day…the one I failed at) Seth just couldn’t make another one. He opted for ‘breakfast burritoes’. He made them from scratch and I think the kids liked them way more than any frozen lasagna!

And now Back to our Regularly scheduled programming…

That’s enough of the serious, upsetting, give you reason to cry posts.
I’m back to light and fluffy thanks.

I hate gas prices. I know. You hate them too, right? And no, I don’t have anything factual to add to the blogosphere on the woes of high gas prices. Oh, well. I’m adding this anyway.

Is it a terrorist plot? To cripple the evil western empire by withholding gas and artificially inflating the cost of a barrel of oil, thus sending our economy into deep freeze? Maybe it’s the auto manufacturers? They could make more efficient engines, but refuse to as it would eat into their profits? Should I even open the can of worms called Deranged Americans Driving SUVs? I should call it: Hummers are just plain irresponsible. Who thought up the great idea that a family of 3 should drive around in a bus-sized Jeep? (In the jungles of New Jersey no less?)

I have no idea. All I Know is that I needed to head out to my parent’s this past weekend. It’s a 3 hour drive. And it cost me $80 round trip. Now I love my family and all, but…once it starts to cost me upwards of a plane ticket to hump out to the sticks, my love my not be enough to get me there. (Can you hear the country song in that last line?)

I need to get a night job in order to afford to see my loved ones.

Cell Phone Love

Sometimes I feel emotionally involved with my cell phone.

It’s my best friend.

And I like it that way. I especially love my car battery charger. I named it Dave. Do you even remember life without a cell phone? (All you young things–don’t answer). I do.

I was lost.

Driving in an area I did not know and it was getting creepier around every corner. I had my kid with me and that freaked me even more. I saw a gas station and pulled in to use the pay phone. Dilemma? Lock my kid in the car, or get her out in a shady parking lot to wait near me? I left her there. I made a mad dash for the phone, made the call, and vamoosed it out of there. All was well.

Today? When I’m lost? I call up my husband, who googles my lost self and gets me out of creepy-ville, no endangered 2 year olds this way.

Heck, I call him when I’m not lost, mainly to tell him that I am in the van all ALONE, no kids! The closest he will ever get to an obscene phone call. My best friend is a 3 inch gadget with ringtone.

Remind me next week to tell you about how fun it was to NOT have a phone in NYC during 9-11.

TK got his stitches out. He was a real prince. He laid there and was calm for the first ½ of the removal. By then it was hurting him and he was whimpering, but that’s about it. Oh, and my friend with 3 boys, took pity on him and lent us a ‘boy’ cap.

Before.

After.

Also we all had our teeth cleaned at the dentist. Mom got a clean bill of teeth health, and all three kids have some small minor cavities?

How’s this for cool dude at the dentist?

But this part was new to me. Has anyone else had a Dentist prescribe a mild sedative for a kid? I’m to pick up valium a prescription for each of the younger two, and then give it to them one hour before their cavity visit. This doesn’t take the place of shots or anything, just meant to calm them. But sheesh, part of me thinks that’s a bit much? Well, TK isn’t yet 4, so maybe not? But for the 7yrold?

I’ve never tried sedation dentistry, (too expensive) I don’t know if I’d be a good candidate. It’s not so much the pain and fear that gets me, it’s the way my body responds to the novocaine. I get chills and sweats and don’t recover too well, I’m kind of loopy and can’t drive myself home afterwards. I pay for the laughing gas instead!

More on the medical front. I get to have a bunionectomy! Doesn’t that sound fun? Not. I’ve put it off for 15 years, and my husband pretty much can’t stand the whining anymore. I had the first foot done back when I was 19 (he didn’t even know me then so what does he know about whinning!), it was so painful I pretty much never planned to get the second one done. Plus the part about 3 weeks of crutches…moms just aren’t allowed that kind of luxury, you know? But after this winter, the pain I am currently in seems worth the hassle and additional pain I’ll be in for. And guess what? Turns out this foot isn’t anywhere near as bad as the other foot way back when. It will be a smaller incision, less mean of a bone cut and best of all no crutches! I’ll be able to bear weight from the get go—oh joy! Now I have to get up the nerve to actually schedule the surgery. I know, I know– you are thinking—weeny-hypocrite. Didn’t you just post about the evils of elective surgeries? Yup I did. And yup, I admit it. But I you still can’t talk me into getting a boob job.
(I was going to take a picture of my cute bunion…I’ll spare you.)

PS. blogger is not happy about uploading photos right now…acting weird.

Is it just me?

Or has anyone else noticed the disturbing BoobPlant fashion? Sometimes I think I am stuck in extreme mommy-make-over suburbia. What is it with mom’s who have lost all sense of self, and actually think, my boobs=the real me? I hear women talking not if, but when they get their boobplants. I see women with ridiculous sized orbs, teeny-tiny waists, and no hips? Usually they are showing 3/4 of their cleavage so I can only assume they are new, and they are getting their money’s worth by showing them off. (The rest of us who’ve owned ours for 35 years, just don’t feel like everyone else cares to see ’em!)

And I can talk, having no boobs left after a total of 3 years worth of breastfeeding . But I’m not considering going under the knife, (possible side-effect DEATH) to increase my mammary glands? What exactly is the point? My husband considers me very sexy (he said so just this morning, and I have no reason suspect his motives). Now don’t get me wrong I confess I own a couple-a push ups, but sheesh, not really in the same ball park, eh?

If I had time to figure out how to get a poll on here, I’d ask. Would you or would you not? Are boobplants in your future? I won’t even address the financial in all of this.

Partly the reason I bring this up is because while I would never consider increasing my breast size, the hypocrite in me would consider getting braces or professionally whitening my teeth. Money of course is an issue there too, so maybe when we win the lottery I’ll be walking around with bright shiny new teeth, and boobs hanging down to my knees.

The Great Hot Dog Fiasco

Do you burn Macaroni & Cheese?
I do.
I’ve nearly destroyed perfectly unassuming pots; boiling the water completely to smithereens.

But this one was a first even for me. It went down something like this:

Put the water on to boil for MacnCheese. Then placed 5 hot dogs into the microwave. (I did not start them, just put them in waiting for the big Mac to get cooked). The water boiled. I added the noodles from the blue box. My latest trick is to time the noodles for exactly 7 minutes, no more no less. That way when I inevitably walk away to deal with a fighting kid, or help with times tables, Okay–to check my blog’s email, I hear the timer and remember to TAKE OFF THE NOODLES before they burn to a black pasty pulp at the bottom of the pan.

You already guessed it right?

When the timer went off I dutifully came back to check the @^*& Macaroni, and there was a very odd smell. Something between Aunt Edna’s terribly burnt Sunday ham and super yummy bacon?? Why does my macaroni after exactly 7 minutes smell like…smoked turkey X 10?

OH. MY. HECK.

I did NOT turn on the timer, I turned ON the microwave…with the HOT DOGS all prepped in there and ready to go! I usually maybe nuke them for 45 seconds. THIS WAS SEVEN MINUTES!!!

This picture just does not do jusice to the hard nubbies of awful hot dog mess that came out of my microwave. My neighbor walked in at that minute and honestly asked me…’hey, yum, what’s for dinner?’. Oh….Aunt Edna’s coming over for dinner.

It doesn’t grow on trees…it grows on PayPal of course!

When was the last time you went a whole week without spending ANY money. I’m not talking about 4 hundred years ago when you were dirt poor in college and living off the mold on your roommate’s cheese. I’m talking about RECENTLY. Can you even go one day? Now– automatic-bills don’t count. The kind that creep out of my account and slither into the utility’s bank, on random days without me noticing, not those. I’m talking about internet purchases, you didn’t’ even get out of your chair for those. And how about those ‘quick’ trips to the grocery store for lettuce (it was taco night, can’t go without lettuce now can I? Oh, and sour cream, and ever more soda, and what holiday is coming next…I better stock up on jujuhearts/starburstjellybeans/cinnamonsantas because they don’t sell those year round you know?). And don’t get me started on “I only need one little birthday gift for a kid birthday party so I’ll run into Target quick”, yeah right. $100 later, here I come with 18 bags. I mean WHY do they sell groceries in Target for heaven’s sake?

I honestly celebrate when I make it through ONE STINKIN’ day when I don’t pull out the plastic for ANYTHING. And a week? I guess I can dream, eh?

Today was going to be my spending free day. But then I remembered that I owed my brother-in-law money for shipping some items to me. I got onto paypal, and a few type keys later. $12 spent today, and I didn’t leave my house, I didn’t even get dressed! Maybe tomorrow? Oh, it’s Saturday? Probably not.

I have stayed away from Target all week. But I slipped up and ran into Wal-Mart to return some shoes. Ended up buying some supplies for making more bags and purses. Also I’ve bought a few groceries, but so far have kept it to a minimum. We’re eating a lot of rice and beans this month.