Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

Laughter is… The Best Cure.

February 24, 2009

Tuesday Tribute:

To marriage.

A little story.

A girl and a boy meet on April Fool’s day. (It’s True) The girl laughs so hard she needs massage therapy on her cheeks from smiles-too-hard, too long.
The girl and the boy become friends. Laughter was their MO. They date each other’s roommates, but NEVER each other. They fall in love 9 months later, and then decide to date each other… a few weeks later? Engaged. Wham. (It’s a Utah thing.)

Fast Forward 7 years later…

That boy graduated from Law School, that girl traded in the work out of the home for the mommy work IN the home. 2 little girls were that work. The boy, is now an associate in a high powered NYC law firm, and his commute is longer than some people’s actual work day. He always misses dinner, heck he misses whole weekends!

At one point they sat talking (late at night since that’s all they seemed to have left). And they realized there wasn’t any laughter. Not enough in common to have common things to laugh about. She complained, “you don’t make me laugh anymore.” He replied, “if we don’t see movies together, I have nothing to imitate and make fun of.”

What to do?

Toss in the towel, let the 7 year itch win the battle?

Not for these scratchy two.

Nope. The girl read a book called ‘Your Money or Your Life‘. She changed her mindset. And the boy started calculating. If they sold the house, they could pay off most of the law student loans. And those loans had been feeling like a massive ugly monster on their backs for much too long… And they finished the kitchen remodel they had started that fall… And they prepared to bring another child into their family… And he found a job near the extended family… and they sold that teeny-tiny, oh so charming, 100 year old, (hate the boiler), but all their own…first home.

And ahhhh. Life was still busy. Life was still a big happy mess. But they watched movies together again. (Can we get a cheer for NetFlix!) They laughed at the new and the old. The good and the crazy. (I couldn’t resist.)

Post Script
No. Grizzly Adams did not move in. THAT is what I came home from BlissDom to…
Post Script 2
We recently netflixed House Bunny. It’s raucus and even has a few swear words. But oh my gosh we laughed so hard we had to rewind to see the parts we were laughing so hard that we missed. And now whenever we meet someone new we feel the need to repeat their name in a monster voice, “NATaLIE.”


Things that save my marriage, Part IV and V and…

June 28, 2008

My Luv is like a red, red rose…

The real thing that makes my marriage work?
My husband.

He makes me laugh. He gets my jokes. He has the softest lips—and no you can’t try them out. He reads newspapers—several. Everyday. Online. Paper. All of them.

Since he was a 10yrold paper boy.

He’s a walking trivial pursuit game. He Loves politics. He drinks a cup of presidential election for breakfast. And do NOT get in his way on election night.

He eats my cooking, even the weird new stuff, even the old bad stuff, all of it.

He likes my boobs just the way they are thank you very much. He rubs my feet.

When I can’t remember the name of some dumb celebrity that I swear I saw in that other movie, the one with that other gug, you know the one? The one with the eating disorder…yup, he can name him/her/it when all I can do is describe him/her/it.

He remembers numbers. Numbers from our first apartment 100 years ago, phone numbers, apt. numbers, the mailman’s license plate number…

It’s possible he loves our kids more than I do.

(And I love ’em a lot),

but I swear when he is “dipping” TK in a pretend “paint bucket”, (upside down while TK is screaming), THE ORANGE ONE DADDY!, or when he’s talking quietly with my oldest before bed about her day, or when he’s coloring right along side SassyQueen—

at those times you would believe that statement.

He makes the most perfect pan cookies. And he has been known to make his mother’s cinnamon rolls (from scratch people!).

He doesn’t have the time, but refuses to pay someone else to mow the grass.

He’s willing to do garage sales with me. I dare you to name a man in THAT category. (Comes from his theater background, he calls it ‘looking for props’.)

He doesn’t golf. I love him for that. He spends Saturdays with us.

Those are the things that save my marriage.

Things that save my Marriage: Part III

June 13, 2008

Small things; A list.

We fold the laundry together.
While watching House. (And more often than not HE is the one who has pushed through several loads of the dirty stuff and turned it into the clean stuff.)

We do small household repairs together.
Fixing the leaky toilet.
Installing our new sink faucet.
And paint. We paint. (I need to take some pictures of our handiwork, been meaning to do an interior house color post…) He does more of the actual painting than I do (I tape). And he likes my choices in bold colors, that can be very important!

On the few dates we get to go on…we prefer to scout out new-to-us restaurants. Olive Garden is just not for us. (Not after living in NYC). And maybe this comes as a surprise, but there are some fabulous eateries in SLC.

Like I said, not a lot of date nights around here, instead:
We love Netflix.
Go join Netflix right now and give me the reference (please!). (Laundry also works well during our latest Netflix movie). I order up one for the kids and one for us. Then on Friday nights they are required to inhabit the basement enjoying their movie and we get to be ‘alone’ watching ours. “Almosta Date Night” at our house.

And one last ‘saves my marriage’.

He rubs my feet. Go ahead and hate me, he still won’t rub your feet though.

Part I, and II

There might be 5 of these. I’m not sure.

Things that save my Marriage: Part II

June 6, 2008

This one is a big one. (Part I is here).

We agree on finances. And we both (puffy) heart Quicken.

Over the life of our marriage we have switched off who balances the checkbook and who pays the bills. When we were in undergrad together we had no money, balancing the checkbook consisted of looking at each other at the end of the month, taking a deep breath and cringing when we saw how far we went into the hole each month. (We like to laugh about those days.)

When he was in Law School and I was the one working full time– He paid the bills and did the balancing act. And instead of watching our overdraft each month, we calculated how much student loan interest the large pepperoni w/extra cheese we just devoured would cost over the next 10 years.

During the two years of his clerkship and just after I threw in the working mommy towel, I took over the finances (while yet again) we watched as the exact amount we could not afford to pay off each month (this time on a credit card). Equaled our grocery bill. (An LDS aside: that same amount we didn’t pay off– exactly equaled tithing? Ironic?)

For the last 8 or so years, we have come to a lovely understanding. I input my receipts into quicken, and he inserts his. I balance the credit cards and stress about paying them off meticulously each month. And he balances the checking account and does that ballet tight rope walk we call: paying off the student loans AS FAST AS WE STINKIN’ CAN!

Don’t get me wrong. We have massive stress over finances. Mainly he’s calm and optimistic, and I’m uptight and worried about earthquakes. But magically those exact two qualities are the perfect blend…for us.

And PS. We are 3 months from the last student loan payment (one month shy of 10 years). There will so be a big party. And you are so invited. So done with the word so.