Archive for the ‘loss’ Category

How Do You Help A Friend In Need?

November 4, 2009

Oh my gosh.
If anyone ever asks me again…

“What is Twitter for…?”

balloons by the sea by beth retro.I’ll show them this.
A few days ago I got some bad news and I tweeted…..


“Help… If you just found out a friend had a late term miscarriage… What would you get for her?

There were 30+ responses, from fabulous ideas and websites to the simple and sweet and even one: {{{HUGS}}} more to help me with my feelings…

Nancy BrownPreemieMiracle
@CarissaRogers Lots of chocolate. A journal and some tissue

kathryn jennexnorthernchick
@CarissaRogers a beautiful new journal and pen

Kemi IngramMOMboTV
@CarissaRogers A ‘Baby Loss Comfort Kit’ from Earth Mama Angel Baby….

@CarissaRogers I would come to her home and cook and clean and watch her kids, if possible.

Carrie Bellmadcapz
CarissaRogers Sorry to hear that. I’d get some lotions, bubble bath, something indulgent she wouldn’t normally get herself.

Danny BrownDannyBrown
@CarissaRogers Oh dear, so sorry Carissa, my thoughts with your friend. Sorry can’t think of anything except love and support 😦

L Sellersshortpumppreppy
@CarissaRogers ((hugs))

simone jacelonsimoneabuzz
@CarissaRogers Ideas for your friend

@CarissaRogers These ladies offer great advice for difficult situations like that:

PJ KaiserDoublelattemama
@CarissaRogers this is a special place for moms who experience a loss it was started by a virtual friend of mine

Mishel CorrellSheliShawn
@CarissaRogers Prayers for your friend, the daddy and you.

@CarissaRogers Ive heard from others that have dealt w/ loss that they just want acknowledgment. Im sure you doing *anything* will mean alot

@CarissaRogers that happened to my friend i bought her a few books on surviving miscarriage and a beautiful journal to write it all out

told her she could write and keep it or throw away or burn also lots of helpful websites

Amy Lupold Bair ResourcefulMom
@CarissaRogers Depends how far along. I found a great gift basket for a friend who lost her child at 20 weeks.

@CarissaRogers I give my friends a necklace from I miscarried twice and wear mine a lot for hope and rememberance

@CarissaRogers saw @ResourcefulMom‘s tweet & I remembered that someone gave us a WillowTree gift when our 1st child was stillborn. beautiful

So what is Twitter for?
THAT is what Twitter is for.

A few days later I got brave. I called my friend. We talked and cried for over an hour. She explained all the details to me, and helped me understand how amazing the hospital staff had been and how hard it was to have so many decisions to make on the spot like that.. For example she regretted not having her older children come to the hospital to meet the baby. And she made it clear that she would love to have home visits and help with her older children.

I took her a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup, a journal and a hardy plant. I made a playdate with her 4yrold. And I made it clear I would come over anytime if she needed me.

She seemed touched and I felt so happy to do something. But I have to agree with what everyone said, talking was more important than all of it.

Photo Credit: Beth Retro Phototgraphy. I asked if I could use this image and received written approval.