Archive for the ‘gift ideas for mom’ Category

I Have a Theory…

January 11, 2010

I hate ‘People
There I said it.

got paparazzi?

I think People Magazine is the worst. I may be the only American to feel that way, but oh well.

I have this theory. I think that Americans lack a ‘royalty’. A Royal family and all the paparazzi and reverence for the crown and all that.. ‘God save the Queen’. Course we also don’t blurt out the phrases: ‘Bob’s Your Uncle‘, ‘Off Your Trolly‘ and one of my faves: ‘Nowt‘.

Instead we have an Oedipus Rex about England and the Mother country… Okay I made that part up.. but I needed something that would make sense for the part where I reveal —THE THEORY (da da da DUM).

I think due to this lack of monarchy we simply make it up as we go along in the form of Movie Stars and… (what IS Paris Hilton anyway(?), plus we can’t forget philandering political officials, right? We (I’m speaking collectively for Americans in general— not for ME here) follow the ups and downs of Brangelina and we (not me) addict ourselves to watching the Gosselin marriage disintegrate publicly. Self absorbing into a world of the seemingly glamorous, the glittery dresses, the haute night life. But is it??

Watching sports heroes destroy their lives and fall from their trophy stand, dreaming about how blue Reese Whitherspoon’s eyes are up close on a centerfold, or my favorite… just how stupid can the only-semi-famous ones really screw up their lives and the lives of their children? THAT is considered the glamorous life?

Count me out.

I have a friend who happily buys her ‘trash’ magazines as she calls them every time she flies anywhere. She says it’s the perfect escape. Really? Wow. Give me a well written novel any time, I just finished Audrey Niffeneger’s 2nd novel. Not as good as her first one, but please let me read a not as good as the first one…. WAY before I’m stuck flipping pages and comparing thighs of blond bomb number 1 with newly fake brunette number 2.

goodncrazy blue dots

Why am I telling you any of this?

Because this year in my stocking, I found a pristine ‘Best Of The Decade’, Special Edition: People Magazine…. Wow, Santa.. exactly what I asked for. Smut reading…

Yup, it’s a totally hilarious gift from my ‘husband-AKA-Santa’.. and at first I figured it was a pretty good gag gift. (I bought him a way too small teeny bopper T-Shirt with Micheal Jackson on it… Heaaay-Haaaaay).

He pressed me—open to the Taylor Lautner page..! The what?? Oh brother… I can make fun of Twilight with the best of ’em! I humored him, I could tell he was enjoying this. When I opened to that page: A slip of paper fell out..

I opened it and realized I was holding a flight itinerary to Washington, DC!

He had used frequent flier miles to purchase me a ticket to visit one of my closest friends who recently adopted a little girl from China! I get to go meet the newest member of their family THIS MONTH…!

And now? … if you catch me reading the Best of the Decade issue on a flight to Dulles… well…

Don’t Judge Me Earl!

PhotobucketNo sir, People stories aren’t stories about real people, they are tales of a nation choking on its own vomit. –Senior Cranky

photo credit: L S G

The Day After Christmas…

December 27, 2009

Okay it’s here.
The day AFTER.

The crazy is over.
The presents finally wrapped, (and unwrapped about 14,000 times the speed of light), the husband put together the new kid bookshelf AND the new telescope (with only minor expletives mind you). Believe it or not all the clothes and boots fit! (Seriously surprised me there…we didn’t take a single thing back!)

The girl Tween kept saying things like… “I sure am getting a LOT of clothes this year”…and “I don’t have to put any of my stuff together, like the cool racetrack the kids got…”…. “Oh look another present with a shirt in it…”
It’s official she isn’t a little kid, and she’ll admit it, she doesn’t want little kid toys anymore. Two things on her request list this year? A gift card to Borders, and a gift card for iTunes….
Um… those both fit in the stocking… now what? She got a telescope that’s what!

My newly turned 9yrold Sassy girl (Christmas Eve Birthdays just plain suck btw) was the most exuberant over all her packages. She couldn’t help herself.. several times she flew off the handle, screaming and jumping up and down… only to calm herself long enough to ask… ‘What is it?’ She is American Girl Doll crazy (in a good way), she makes outfits for her doll herself. In fact I’m so not kidding… One of her main anticipated gifts was: {drumroll please}…. A Sewing Kit…. ??As in a Dollar Store sewing kit. Talk about the cheapest Santa Claus gift ever, eh? Instead I found an Alex Brand ‘My First’ Sewing Kit. She’s very happy with it, needless to say jumping up and down and everything. I believe she plans to attend a college that specializes in Art/Fashion/Hair and plain general CREATIVITY. She oozes it from her very core.

I’m not sure how to clearly document this. How very in love my 5yrold little boy is with the boy-world-action-adventure-friendly-Alien-Kid next door…. AKA: Ben10. Here’s how his wish list documented:
“I want a Ben10 Alien ‘SET (whatever that is) and a Ben10 Wii Game and a Bakugan” that last part I assume was thrown in for good standing with the older boys at school as he has like zero idea what the heck it really is.. The Ben10 *set* ends up being a teeny tiny ‘Alien-Making’ kit. Complete with minuscule arms and legs and torsos and little alien freaky heads, which you place in 4 different wheels then spin around and combine to create various creeped out mixed up aliens in about a 1:10,000 ratio. Weird? NOT to a Kindergartner. He sat there all day creating and playing and basically ruining his eyesight working on itty bitty bite-sized Ben10 dudes… He was in heaven it was clear.

goodncrazy blue dots

Were there grown-ups in this scenario?

You betcha.

The Dad had his heart set on one of those fancy calf massage thing-a-ma-bobs… (And I really did try to locate one… but they were kinda pricey and I had better ideas…) He ended up with a brand new fangled Kindle! Yay! And believe me for a total geek of a news junkie like my dear husband is… having the New York Times downloadable to your bedroom in the morning with your hot cocoa is like heroin to the corner crack addict.

He also has been wanting a really nice speaker system for his iPod to dock with at work. Here’s what I found him…. A JBL ‘On Time’ iPod Dock… and cha-ching! I found a killer deal on it! Total toss up as to which he likes better!


As for the Mom in our world… that would be me… I had a wish list as well. I’ve learned, in 15 years of Christmases: MAKE A LIST, and check it twice. Cuz when I’ve handed him a bit of a list in the past thinking he would look it over and maybe get one or two items on it… oh no. He got me every SINGLE thing on that blasted list! Which is sweet and all, but there were years we couldn’t afford it!

So this year on my (shortish) list:

A waffle maker (ours didn’t make the big move to Oregon)
A tablecloth (my one nice one got a massive stain on it this Thanksgiving)
New Measuring Cups (I really really really want the dang NON-traditional sizes 3/4 and 2/3! Yippee)
Knives. Stinking Sharp Knives. The end.
Oh. And a new laptop, is that too much to ask….? (Srsly, mine is literally falling apart, the hinge all busted, and the wifi broke-HELLO! It’s a laptop…not a plug into a cord-top!)

Uhm… lets just say once again my under the tree gifts left nothing off the list.
My laptop? Using it!
My new waffle maker? Makes superb waffles…crunchy, but light and fluffy at the same time. I’d share but we ate them all!
My knives... oh my freaking lovely… like buttah. I almost cried when I cut potatoes for Christmas Day Clam Chowder. Oh wow. Have I mentioned I love my Santa yet?
I did get measuring cups, but the 3/4 and 2/3s?? Back ordered… I guess there was a run on the odd sizes this year huh? Oh well.

Here’s to hoping your week after Christmas is just as fun filled, slicing and dicing, dancing and grooving, miniature loving, doll fashionista creating and star gazing as ours is!

I’m loving my ‘week off’…. ta ta!